Example #3

Prank Phone Call?

I work in the office at a Florist, answering the telephone is literally my job. When your job is to answer the phone you run into your fair share of telemarketers, wrong numbers, confused old ladies (apparently our 800 number is very similar to an insurance companies) and the least common of all prank phone calls. And I am hoping this most recent incident was a prank phone call, but I can't say for sure. I didn't want to stay on the phone any longer than was necessary. I am still a little confused and disturbed by the dialogue...which went a little something like this:

Me: Good Afternoon, T*****'s Flowers...
Anonymous Caller: Yes, where are you located...
Me: On the corner of 97th and Holmes Rd...
Caller: Great...uh...I am just trying to get myself off, could you keep talking?
Me: EXCUSE ME!?!?! (this had a lot of attitude behind it too!)
Caller: I am just trying to get off, please keep talking
Me: Uhhh...no!?!? (I am rather confused at this point, I should have hung up after he repeated himself.)
Caller: Is there anyone else there who would talk to me?
CLICK....that is when I slammed the receiver down!

I am not going to lie, I sat starring blankly with my jaw hanging open for possibly 10 minutes. I couldn't believe what I had just heard! I ran out to the design room to tell everyone else about it and make them feel as uncomfortable as I did. Now, there would have been no doubt in my mind that it was a prank call if the person on the other end sounded like an prepubescent boy, but no. Audibly this man sounded to be at least 35 and there was an odd sincerity in his voice. Which makes me wonder....I think the universe needed a good laugh, and I once again fell victim.

A Pleasant Surprise

Last night I went to the Hy-Vee after I was finished at work. Now, I don't normally go to Hy-Vee because the quality of their produce is not the best. Since I didn't need any produce last night I decided on Hy-Vee because they do have some of the best prices in town. I got to the grocery store at the peek of after work grocery shopping so the parking lot was a nightmare. After circling a row twice a spot is open! I pull in next to a rather dirty, white, Toyota 4-Runner. At first I didn't think much of it, pretty typical in Johnson County. Then I noticed a car seat in the back, and thought, "hmm, I wonder if this is my sister's car?" So, I got out of my car and made a quick lap around the 4-Runner (and I am aware that I probably looked like a giant weirdo, stalking a vacant car in the Hy-Vee parking lot, but I had to know!) I decided it was in fact my sister's car. As I walked into the store I called her to find out where she was so I could do my shopping with some pleasant company....there she was taste-testing turkey at the Deli.

Turned out to be a nice little evening for grocery shopping. Although I did forget the NyQuil!

Example # 2

Here I am, sitting at Panera Bread on the Plaza attempting to write a paper. My final paper for the end of my first term in Grad school, kind of important....so what happens you ask?

I sit down get settled in, finish my last Facebook post before I begin on finalizing my paper. Not two seconds after I log-out of Facebook does a new form of distraction present itself. A First Date! You can instantly tell these two 20 somethings barely know each other. Their names are called at seperate times to get their food from the counter, and they both do some awkward shuffle around their table to choose the best seat. This interaction was so awkward it was making me uncomfortable! They get seated and the real entertainment begins....their conversation.

A phsyical description of this couple will help when I begin highlighting their conversation. They resemble Sandy and Danny from Grease....sorry I love musicals! But seriously they were Sandy and Danny circa 2000 instead of 1960. More specifically though, they are Sandy and Danny the day school starts. She is the non leather pant wearing, pre-ear piercing Sandy. And he is the too cool but I might suffer from short man syndrome version of Danny. Now the two best parts of their conversation:

Danny is describing his muscle bearing truck and all its cool tricks, and how much he loves it, and the winter makes it fun to drive....you get the picture.

Sandy turns her head in confusion, "I drive a Chevy, Colbalt."

Danny, "oh, well, you have front wheel drive at best."

Wow! They are probably meant for each other!

This one is even better. Sandy pulls out the typical first date question, if there was any doubt before that they were on a first date, all doubt vanishes with this question.

Sandy, "Tell me something that not a lot of people know about you?"

Danny, "Cool or serious?" Really, Danny? come on!

Sandy, "Serious."

Then Danny proceeds to describe the tattoo he has on his chest...lame! On top of that the description he was giving her made it sound like a bad Ed Hardy design.

So Danny turns the question back on Sandy.

Her response is equally as lame, as she begins to describe her severe near-sightedness!!!

That is not the response Danny was secretly hoping for!

Needless to say working on my paper took much longer than anticipated!

Example # 1

My first example includes an adolescent, so really it could have happened to anyone, the point is that it happened to me.

While I am sitting at a stop light waiting to turn left, I look out my window and see a red Volkswagen station wagon.  It took me a moment to realize that the passenger in the back seat, a young man, is waving excitedly at me.  Noticing that he was much younger than me, but not wanting to be rude, I gave a less excited wave back.  He then proceeded to flip me off, I think it was a little rude and rather uncalled for, so I put my hands up and shrugged. As if to say, "what was that for?"  Then he apologized and began to signal that he loved me.  I must say this relationship was moving a little too quickly for me, because as they proceeded through the light past the front of my car, the young man made a "V" with his fingers to send me a gesture NOT to give me a peace sign...if you know what I mean.  As I watch them travel through the intersection I see the man in the service van next to me laughing hysterically, finally my light turns green and I drive away shaking my head, questioning if I really understood what just happened.